"I’m a girl. I overreact. I underestimate. I overestimate. I over think everything. I dream big. And when I say I love you, I’m not lying."
Hello readers! I've decided to start blogging, again. Okay, I know I've been saying this for the past few posts but never did I once really fulfill it. I'll try alright. So... Things are alittle too messy and screwed up right now, and no matter how much I try to salvage it, it doesnt seem to be working. Have you ever have this feeling where you just feel like shutting yourself out of this world and die? You dont wanna feel anything, you just wish someone could rip off your damn heart. Tired of living these kinda bullshits everyday, why is life so exhausting? I just wanna lead a happy life, and love without problems. I wanna be fought for, I wanna be cared for, I wanna be the last thought on your mind every night before you go to sleep. Ha, I guess thats too much to ask for maybe. They say even if a couple quarrels everyday, the tendency of them leaving each other is way lesser than a couple who doesnt quarrel everyday. People may envy how sweet they are because they both of parties are tolerating for each other and not picking up a quarrel, but in actual fact the tension is just building up day by day, and once that ticking bomb exploded... You know what that means. On the contrary, when a couple quarrels frequently, they at least know how to sooth each other down. Day by day, months passed, years passed, they're still together. Isnt this way sweeter? ;)
How I wish I could have a relationship just like that.. From young adults, to adults, to elderly. This is indeed a dream come true.. Ha, snap out of this dream dude. Given people nowadays, who's really actually willing to have such a relationship with you? I mean, not to be offensive, but feelings change, people do change too. It takes really a miracle in order to have such a relationship. Guys say the harshest thing a girl can ever hear, they dont really think before they talk, and that what hurts the most. Girls, on the other hand, are just too sensitive and paranoid. They get jealous easily and often think too much, and that kinda hurt the relationship too.. So maybe, both parties sometimes should just try giving in, understanding and care. It kinda sucks if one doesnt really care for the other anymore, cause it seems like there's no point in continue the relationship, right? It takes two hands to clap, if only one hand is there, how do you expect it to clap? Useless.. I always thought having a relationship is just so easy, where one can just love without limits, but I was wrong. Utterly. It's just so complicated, sometimes till the extent where you dont even understand and know the other anymore. I always thought to myself, is it time to give up? Is it time to let him go? But after realising the pain I went through, after realising the reasons why I held on so long, after realising the great amount of happiness I had when Im with him, after realising I actually love him so much.. I just cant seem to let go. And somewhere, somehow.. I just hope he does feel the same for me too.
Alright, I will try and live up my promise and blog more. Need to start on my homework soon, there's hell lot to complete but procrastination is stopping me from it. Till then readers, ciaos! xx
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